Step parents have it much harder than biological parents and here is why
1. Being a step parents role is rarely defined
When you have a blended family a step parent usually does not get called “mom” or “dad” no matter how much more they do than the biological parent. The biological parent may rarely see the child but automatically gets the name “dad” or “mom” is this fair? No but fair does not matter when it comes to parenting, does it?
2. You are damned if you do and you are damned if you don’t
Step parents get a bad rep for being mean even when they have done nothing different than the biological parent. No matter what the situation is for the child if you are laid back about the problem then “you don’t care” if you take the punishment route “you are mean.” Which leaves the step…
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PASSION VS LOVE
I used to think that the kind of love I needed was this passionate, overwhelming, can’t live without him kind of love. The kind of love that consumes you. It took me a while to realize that kind of love is unhealthy. Many people have a hard time telling the difference between passion and love. We sometimes get confused because they are both very strong feelings.
Passion is a strong and uncontrollable emotion.
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.
I realized passion is very intoxicating and addicting. Passion makes you feel young and alive. After a while though, the passion wears off. When it’s gone you look at the person next to you and are questioning why you are even with them. As much as we all want it to, passion does not last forever. If it did we would not be able to accomplish anything. We would be to caught up in the other person and although it may be a good feeling it is not always a good thing. Love on the other hand can last forever. No matter how much you argue and scream at each other deep down you know you truly love each other. You know you and your partner can work it out whatever the issue may be.
Maybe it was all of those disney movies making us girls believe in fairytales but as I grew older I started to come to terms with the fact that we create our own fairytales.There are no princes coming to slay our dragons. We slay our own. We choose who we love and we choose who we want to spend forever with.
I was so caught up in wanting the passion back after a few years of being with someone that I started to lose focus on what really mattered and what I really wanted. I don’t want the passionate love that makes you crazy. The kind of love where you can’t go without texting your significant other, where you literally can’t be without one another. I want stability. I want a routine. Although passion is amazing, it comes in phases when you are in a long term relationship. It is not constant. While I was so caught up in questioning the man I promised my life with, the father of my child, I almost lost it all. I almost walked away from my partner. A man who has flaws like everyone but a man who has been there for my son and I. A man who has loved me even on my worst days. I was craving the kind of love you see in movies…
Finally it became clear to me that I don’t want a love like in the movies. I want someone I can state my opinion to, someone I can open up to and let my guard down with. Someone who will understand that I took care of our sick baby all day and really am to tired to have sex. I want someone who is my equal, who pushes me to follow my dreams. Someone who is there every day and every night because his family is his priority. Someone who will fight for me and fight with me when I am wrong. Someone who will call me out on my shit. When I was trying to decide if I should walk away from the man I promised forever with I came to my senses. I hope I can make other women understand that passion is only temporarily. Passion won’t be there when you are old and grey. Love will be. Passion won’t be there when you hit rock bottom and need someone, love will be. I almost walked away from the love of my life because I thought I wanted more. Little did I know I have more than I thought, I have everything…
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” -1 Corinthians 13:4-13